What does it mean to be your authentic self? It may be easier to describe what your authentic self isn’t. Your authentic self is not your job, position, or even your hobbies. These are labels that people are familiar with. But these labels don’t fully define who you are. Instead, they are things that help inform your authentic self. We all live day to day thinking about these labels and what we need to do to hold them. But there is something more important in life, something that means the world to each and every one of us. You, the true you, who you really are. The question is, how to be your authentic self?
You can answer this question, how to be your authentic self by defining yourself, to yourself, and living up to that idea more often than not.
Go Along to Get Along
There aren’t many among us who love to get into confrontations. Instead, we go along with whatever others want or their opinions to get along with those people. In fact, we allow others to define who we are more so than we define ourselves. This is known as the Asch Phenomenon. In the 1950s, psychologist Solomon Asch conducted some experiments that proved people conform in most situations. He stated that people conform because they don’t want to stand out as the “peculiar” one.
However, when we conform we are letting someone else control our authentic selves. We become just another part of a crowd instead of ourselves. This is why it is important to start paying attention to how we interact with others. Especially when we are in a crowd-like situation. This crowd could be your own group of friends, family members, coworkers or complete strangers.
Define Your Own Authentic Self
How can you define something you don’t even understand? The first step is to understand it. Listen to your self-talk, that voice inside your head. What does it sound like? Who does it sound like? That voice inside your head is your inner self. However, you should remember that you are in control of it.
For example, if you wake up in the morning and your inner self says that it’s going to be a bad day, most likely it will be a bad day. This is because you’re thinking negatively so even if positive things happen you are already looking for a way to make it negative. Instead, start each day with gratitude, be grateful you woke up and have things to do. You can accept the challenge and believe that you are capable of. You’d be surprised by how much you can achieve with just a little mental power.
The Bank of You
You are a bank and the people in your life are either making deposits or withdrawals. You are totally in control over who has access to the bank of you. The people you give memberships to are the people in your life, these are your friends and significant others. People who make deposits are the ones who add value to your life. You feel comfortable around them and can even get vulnerable with them and they with you. This is a genuine relationship that will help you foster your authentic self. These are the people you want more of in your life if you want to know how to be your authentic self more regularly.
People who make withdrawals are totally opposite. These people will discourage you, make you feel small, and they don’t really care to see you vulnerable. Unfortunately, these people are often the ones we keep closest to us like family members or loved ones. Grow your friends list with more deposit makers, and leave the others behind.
When you clicked on the link to open this post you made a decision. That decision is most likely because you feel like you can be better or carry less stress. This is the ultimate tip for learning how to be your authentic self. You should always make decisions based on your own personal values, not the values of others. We can bring this down to a very understandable circumstance. There is a new movie that just came out and everyone is ranting and raving about it. You saw the trailer and you weren’t interested in it at all. But these reviews are so good and you don’t want to be left out of the conversation. You buy a ticket and sit through a 2.5-hour long movie but hated every second of it.
Why did you do that? You already knew from the trailer that you weren’t interested so why waste time and money? Sure, there’s a chance you might’ve enjoyed it but you didn’t. This is a very small example of you holding your authentic self down and allowing others to make decisions for you. You can make an authentic decision in any circumstance, even going to the movies. First, you need to consider your values, habits, character and how each of these things factors into the final decision. Once you learn this, you can start making authentic decisions and being your authentic self. You can learn more about becoming your authentic self with a new program from NewStart For Me. This new program will teach you the in’s and out’s of being your authentic self. The program is called Journey to Authenticity. You will be your true self more often with this program.
Sign up today for the Journey to Authenticity. An authentic self program brought to you by NewStart for Me.